The Best Way Out is Always Through (or why I enjoy canyoneering.)

[This is a post that I wrote back in 2012 after we completed Mystery Canyon in Zion National Park for the second time. We haven't made it canyoneering since then because I had baby number two nine months later and she is only now getting to be old enough to be left overnight with her grandparents for the weekend. But I miss canyoneering desperately and every October I get a serious desire to go and have an adventure in Zion National Park because the weather is not so hot and the park is gorgeous at that time of year (really it is gorgeous all year). Anyway in a nutshell this post explains how I fell in love with canyoneering and adventures of this type, which is one of the reasons that I named this blog "Canyons and Curls." ]

My second time doing the final rappel in Mystery Canyon down into the Narrows, October 2012. 

Way back in 2008 a few short weeks after I got married, we embarked upon Mystery Canyon in Zion National Park for the first time. I had no idea what I was getting myself into because really we had planned to do a very popular canyon called the Subway but were unable to get a permit. My husband told me multiple times before embarking on the down climb through "death gulley," that there was no turning back and that once we entered the canyon I was committed to following my decision through. I wish that I could look back on that time first time through and say that I handled the trip gracefully, had a wonderful attitude, and showed great courage.

To be honest though, that is far from the truth. I slipped and fell a lot, whined and complained, and at times even refused to move forward. At one point I even contemplated joked about making my husband call in a helicopter to come and retrieve me from the canyon because I was so afraid of the next rappel. That particular moment that I cringe to look back upon came at the edge of a a cliff with no hand line to grip on the walk out, and involved a 135 foot rappel down onto a boulder and from the boulder into Mystery Spring. With a little firmness from my husband after he'd been sitting on the ledge for almost an hour, the two girls in the group were the source of delay, I eventually made it down and we finished the canyon. And I am certainly glad I did make it down that rappel because although the last rappel was intimidating, it was absolutely the most fun and that is the memory I held onto from the first trip.

When my husband told me that he'd gotten another permit to go through Mystery, I was apprehensive. I remember how intimidating parts of the canyon were, and when we finished last time I honestly didn't know if I could go back. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I became. While we've been on a lot of trips and have had several adventures since then, none have pushed me as far mentally or physically. And especially since 2010 when my first daughter was born, I feel like I've lacked a lot of courage when it has come to doing daring and adventurous things. I'm not sure if it has to do with the fact that I am now a mother, or the fact that I am past my early-twenties that I get more scared. Either way, I don't want either factor to prevent me from enjoying my life to the fullest and pushing and challenging myself to new accomplishments. 

In the weeks that I had to prepare myself mentally for the canyon I thought a lot about the various worst case scenarios: some of which included severely hurting myself or even falling to my death, others that included prematurely aging myself and losing my sense of daring and fun. After a lot of prayer and some reading on tips for canyoneering, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and I KNEW that I had to complete Mystery Canyon again. For me it became a test of coolness (just because I'm now a mom and am 27 doesn't mean I can't still have fun.) A lot of women consider a post-baby marathon their way to symbolize being back in shape, but since I don't love to run, for me this was my physical and mental test. I also looked at the trip as a way to spend time with my husband since we've never had an entire weekend alone without a baby, I looked at it as a way to redeem myself from the complaining of last time and I looked at it as a way to just get out and have a blast. 

Because I'd prepared myself mentally beforehand, I went into the canyon knowing that I was in for a fabulous time. At no point did I ever consider turning around or stopping and the words of Robert Frost: "The best way out is always through," were my mantra. I had a wonderful and positive attitude the entire time, my husband told me I looked like a pro, and I even took the initiative and showed a little bit of leadership at one point (we had to cross through Landslide Lake which was very murky looking, and since I was already wet I volunteered to go first and find the route for the group to cross.) 

I enjoyed EVERY SECOND that we spent in that canyon and I fear that I now have the canyoneering / adventure bug... too bad that it's almost winter and any more canyonnering will have to wait until early summer.

My first time doing the final rappel in Mystery Canyon down into the Narrows, June 2008.