First Quarter Reading

I've been making an effort this year to read more books instead of spending all of my time reading blogs and catching up on Instagram. This is what I managed to read during the first quarter of the year.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - I read this book aloud to my girls. We've been slowly but surely working our way through the Harry Potter series since last spring when my daughter first discovered the books right before I went to London.

Before Green Gables  - I wrote a review of this book here. It was a fun read. Now I need to go and re-read the Anne of Green Gables series.

Wind, Sand and Stars - The language of this book was beautiful. It was about early aviators flying around the world and read like a travel diary. However, I didn't finish it because I lost interest.

Secrets of a Charmed Life by Susan Meissner - I loved this book! The story switches back and forth between the modern day and WWII. Kendra, an American student studying at Oxford is interviewing the elderly Isabel McFarland about what it was like to live through WWII. During the war, Isabel then known as Emmy, was a fifteen year-old girl aspiring to be a wedding dress designer until war forced her and her younger sister Julia into the countryside where most of London's children were evacuated to. The main theme of the story is choices and the paths that they send us down, and the impact that forces outside our control have upon our choices. I have read quite a few fictional stories set in the WWII time period and this one was by far my favorite. And the cover is simply beautiful.

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids - This was a great parenting book mainly focusing upon the problems created when our lives and environments are permeated with too much stuff. They had a lot of great suggestions in this book that I will be implementing.

Blink: The Power of Thinking without Thinking - The women in my family read this for our book club and we had a fun party to discuss it. There were tons of interesting concepts in this book, and the one that perhaps stands out the most to me is the idea that we need to "edit" when we make decisions. It made me think about how popular the concept of minimalism has become and the idea of capsule wardrobes, meal plans, etc.

The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You - This was a quick read full of ideas on how to be more productive.

Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear - This was a very interesting book to read, especially for someone like myself who likes to create (mostly through my photography.) The biggest take away for me is that done is sometimes better than perfect. There were tons of other gems inside this book so I highly recommend reading it.

Socks by Beverly Cleary - We listened to this book in the car while in Oregon because we wanted to have something by Beverly Cleary and our Ramona audiobooks weren't working. Socks is an all around funny and pleasant little story about the life of a cat.

Seeds of Hope: Wisdom and Wonder from the World of Plants by Jane Goodall - I listened to this audiobook on double speed while driving in the car and using the treadmill at the gym. It was quite interesting and made me want to become better at gardening.

The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey - Not allowing our children to make mistakes in their early years leads to bigger consequences later in life when they are finally allowed to fail. Bottom line - we are doing our kids a disservice (not showing our love) by babying them through their whole lives. We have the responsibility to teach our kids that failure is ok and is part of the learning process.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain - I listened to this while on the treadmill at the gym. It was fun listening to it as opposed to reading it (like I have done in the past) because they do a great job at acting out the characters with various accents. I've always love the story of Huckleberry Finn.

The Lake House  by Kate Morton - I adore this book, despite the fact that I agree with many people when they say the ending is a little too tidy. I read this book from start to finish while we were on our trip to Oregon. Most of the time I was reading it I had the sea breeze coming through the window and the sound of the ocean crashing against the shore. Each night I stayed up far too late reading it because I found the storyline so compelling and also I was a little nervous to go to sleep for fear of bad dreams. I had previously tried to listen to the audiobook, but gave up because I got confused when the narration jumped back and forth between 2003 and the time around WWI. Set near a scenic lake hidden in the countryside of Cornwall, England, the Edevane family leads a charming and perfect life--or so it appears. When Alice Edevan's eleven-month-old little brother Theo disappears on the night of the family's big mid-summer party and the mystery remains unsolved for seventy years, the family is devastated and abandons their home and their possessions to move to London. Nearly seven decades later, Sadie Sparrow, a detective on leave from the London police force stumbles upon the house and opens up her own investigation.

Better than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives by Gretchen Rubin

 

I just finished reading Better than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives, and found it to be the perfect book to read at the beginning of a new year. Like all of Gretchen Rubin’s books, Better than Before is very well researched and fascinating from start to finish. She begins the book with the basic premise that habits make change possible by freeing us from decision making and from using self-control. We often use habits to comfort ourselves when we are worried or stressed. While everyone is unique, we all have four “foundation habits” 1. Sleep 2. Move 3. Eat and and drink right 4. Declutter. Each of these habits help to build self-control and subsequently should be the first habits we address when we are looking to improve because foundation habits tend to reinforce each other. 

When people are looking to change habits, generally the changes sought fall into seven essential categories. 1) Eat and drink more healthfully (give up sugar, eat more vegetables) 2) Exercise regularly 3) Save, spend, and earn wisely (save regularly, pay down debt, donate to worthy causes, stick to a budget) 4) Rest, relax, and enjoy (stop watching TV in bed, turn off a cell phone, spend time in nature, cultivate silence, get enough sleep, spend less time in the car) 5) Accomplish more, stop procrastinating (practice an instrument, work without interruption, learn a language, maintain a blog) 6) Simplify, clear, clean and organize (make the bed, file regularly, put keys away in the same place, recycle) 7) Engage more deeply in relationships with other people, with God, with the world (call friends, volunteer, spend more time with family). 

To successfully change our habits, we need to practice some introspection and find out more about ourselves. For example we need to ask ourselves whether we are “a lark or an owl?” Larks are early-risers, owls stay up late. According to Rubin, “research suggests that this attribute is hardwired. Genes play a big role, as does age…  Interestingly, research suggests that Larks are likely to be happier, healthier, and more satisfied with life than Owls, in part, because the world favors Larks.”

Other questions we need to ask ourselves include questions about the way we best complete projects, “marathoner, sprinter, or procrastinator?” When we work on a project are we slow and steady (marathon), do we work in quick bursts of intense effort and deliberately wait for the pressure of a deadline. Do we overbuy or underbuy? I consider myself an under-buyer and so I found the following advice quite helpful “Under-buyers should remember that spending money to support a good habit is worthwhile; over buyers should remember that mere acquisition isn't strong enough to establish a good habit.”

Do we seek simplicity or abundance?  “Simplicity lovers are attracted by the idea of "less," of emptiness, bare surfaces and shelves, few choices, a roomy closet. Abundance lovers are attracted by the idea of "more," of overflow, of addition, of ampleness, of a full pantry. They always want to have more than enough. They like a bit of bustle, and they enjoy collecting things and having a wide array of choices.”

Am I a finisher or an opener? “Finishers love the feeling of bringing a project to completion, and they're determined to use the last drop in the shampoo bottle; Openers thrill to the excitement of launching a new project, and find pleasure in opening a fresh tube of toothpaste. Because finishers focus on their ability to complete, they may be overly cautious about trying to form new habits; Openers may be overly optimistic about their ability to take on additional habits.”

Am I a familiarity lover or a novelty lover? “For familiarity lovers, a habit becomes easier as it becomes familiar. Novelty lovers may embrace habits more readily when they seem less . . . habit-like. Novelty lovers may do better with a series of short-term activities -- thirty day challenges, for instances --instead of trying to create an enduring automatic habit.” Am I promotion focused or prevention focused? “Promotion focused people concentrate on achievement and advancement, on making gains, on getting more love, praise, pleasure. They eagerly and optimistically pursue their goals. By contrast, prevention-focused people concentrate on fulfilling their duties, on avoiding losses, and on minimizing danger, pain, or censure. They're vigilant against possible drawbacks or problems.” What do I value and find satisfying? Saving time, money or effort? What are my current habits and when am I most likely to indulge in a bad habit? 

The second half of the book presents a number of strategies and suggestions for using the self-knowledge of your habits in changing your habits. She emphasizes several things, including the strategy of monitoring. We manage what we monitor. “ Self-measurement brings self awareness and self-awareness strengthens our self-control. 

Scheduling is another important strategy because if it is on the calendar, it happens. Scheduling forces us to confront the natural limits of the day. I loved this quote that “what I do everyday matters more than what I do once in awhile,” and that “Something that can be done at any time is often done at no time.” 

When trying to change a habit, is it easier for us to moderate or to abstain? “Abstainers do better when they follow all or nothing habits. Moderators by contrast are people who do better when they indulge moderately. Abstinence takes zero mental effort.”

Convenience (the amount of effort, time, or decision making required), If-then (pre-planning for various scenarios), distraction, paring habits, clarifying habits, and rewards (“The best reward of a thing well done is to have done it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson) are other strategies that she addresses. 

For me the most important thing I gained by reading this book was more self-knowledge. It was the perfect read for making New Year’s Resolutions, but would honestly be helpful at any point in the year. 

And now, here are a few of my goals for 2016. 
1) Go to bed by 10:30 - When I was in school and teaching I was pretty good about going to bed on time. However over the last few years I've gotten into the bad habit of staying up late and sleeping in. I can't really sleep in anymore now that my oldest has started school, and the combination of staying up late and waking up early has left me feeling pretty exhausted for the past few months. I also without fail get migraines when I stay up too late. One week into 2016 and I've been following this 10:30 bedtime very well and I am feeling a lot less exhausted.

2. Read 50 books - I want to model good habits for my girls and I love to read so I figure it is the perfect goal for the year since my oldest is in the process of learning how to read.

3. Improve my photography skills - I plan on doing this by taking some classes (I signed up for a course that starts in a few days), learning how to use my new camera (by using it a lot and by reading the manual), perhaps join Clickin' Moms or some sort of community forum, read more photography books.

4. Fitness / Healthy Eating - I need to do some more planning for this goal but for the month of January I am not eating dessert. I would like to join a gym so that I can exercise more regularly but I am a bit cautious about gym contracts due to some bad experiences in the past. So for now all I can say is eat way less sugar, eat more vegetables, and move more. I'd also like to throw in some strength training.

5. One date a month with my husband - We've been really bad about this over the last few years. For several years money was tight and or we didn't think the kids were old enough to leave but I'm confident that they would be fine now if we hired a babysitter.

6. Declutter / simplify - To the point where I am not constantly doing this! I read the Marie Kondo book last summer, but did so while I spent a week at a very minimalist and pristine condo and so I felt no urgency to try the method.